Me and another three of my friends were recently on a trip to meet the gods of Tirupathi. Though I am not much into prayers and temples kind of stuff, I had no other option but to go with them. One of them, Vikram ( aka Flirt Ram) called me the previous day and said- " You are coming with us to Tirupathi tomorrow. The bus is at 8pm and the tickets are booked. See you at the bus stand" without even letting me reply. Well, those were orders issued by those assholes or rather politely known as friends. I wanted to express my due rights as a citizen of India, so called him back to say -'Screw you. I'm not coming to tirupathi n all'. Dialled his number, the caller tune sang - " All I want to say is they don't really care about us" . He picked up the phone and just as I was about to speak, he said -" Shut up. You are coming." he cut the phone. He deserved a tight bash on his nose.
Our exams had just finished the day before and hence I could guess why these guys wanted to go to Tirupathi. These fantastic friends of mine would go there after every semister exams and drop their exam 'hall-tickets' in the hundi and pray for good results. I used to laugh at it like hell when I had first heard of that, then got used to it, and now I am helpless about it. Man, in India they bribe even God.
Anyway, we met at the bus stand the next day, I gave Vikram one final chance before a nose bash, then left to meet Lord Venkateshwara. We talked all night in the bus and every once in an hour we got an unknown - "Sshhhh..." from behind, which we as irresponsible students dint care for. We reached the place early in the morning and Mr. Vikram guided us to the cottage as if he was a tour guide of that place. Then came the most interesting part- Breakfast. All had 6 items each along with a coffee. When the bill came , all had vanished into the 'hand wash' area leaving me alone. See..?? I went to the restroom, gave the bill to Vikram and said- "You are paying the bill. Thank You." though the 'thank-you' sounded more like 'Fuck You'.
Next we had to go the temple to as I call it -'meeting Lord Venkateshwara'. They dint like me saying that but hell, they wanted me to pay the bill. Screw them. It was a wait of more than 6 hours. I could have watched four english movies in 6 hours, I wondered. Anyway, out of that 6 hours, I slept for 3 hours. The remaining time, I was tackling all the Mr. and Mrs. Pushers. For me, this wait was more about the wonderful laddoo that they give as prasadam. Finally, we met God, they bribed him with their hall-tickets and fell to his feet. I collected and ate the laddoo. There was laddoo in the ghee instead of ghee in the laddoo. I loved it. The three of them had a glow on their faces as if they had already passed with distinctions in the exams. Anyway, it was eleven, so went back to the room, played cards and slept.
Next day was for little sight-seeing. The places were okay, but not really interesting to mention. After lunch, Mr. Vikram bribed Mr.Somebody and got a few extra laddoos for which I had no objection and we descended the hill into the city of Tirupathi. It was 3pm and our bus tickets were for the 11pm bus. We were strolling across a street, a street of half a kilometer having six cinema theatres in it. Now that Lord Venkateshwara will take care of their results, we could watch a movie. The temptations were such. All the six theatres were playing Telugu movies. Two of we four knowing telugu, we watched a movie called 'Ready'(not Reddy). I had to pay for the tickets, obviously. The movie was fun, though I had a torrid time translating those scenes and dialogues to them. Again a few "Sshhh..'s....." from behind. But we hadn't changed into responsible students even after a meeting with God. Anyway, we had dinner in a 3 star hotel when we came to know it was Vikram's treat and then left back to Bangalore, watching the dubbed version of 'Dhoom' in telugu in the bus. More serious the movie became the more we laughed. Anyway, we reached Bangalore early morning. The next few weeks of vacations went on with movies, girl friends and theme parks.
3 months later, came our results. The two guys failed in 2 subjects each. Mr. Vikram failed in four. I, as always, managed with a first class.
" Jai Lord Venkateshwara"
P.S- This is partly fiction. I wrote it when I was in my laziest best. So, don't contemplate too much if it sounded dull. If any of you three guys read this, I hope this is enough for you not to invite me for your next trip to 'Meet The God'. For others, congrats for surviving through the post. Thank You ( This 'thank you' only means- Thank You)