The Week, That Was..!!

People of my street are planning to demand for a separate state. James Bond uncle would be the Chief Minister and Mr. I-know-everything-except-what-my-daughter-is-doing will be the Home minister (Oh My God, what an irony!). I’m planning to put my tenant into the Anti-terrorism squad. He would strip even an ant and check for bombs. I mean, he belongs there; the over-smart category. Next house Granny would be our Government’s official spokesperson; this is just to make sure that our media persons need not search elsewhere for entertainment. Hey wait, who am I? I’m the boss; they bow their heads, they fall onto my feet. I’m the only Citizen; I’m the one who’ll vote.

On a serious note, this is the biggest blunder committed by the UPA government thus far. Such a hasty decision was uncalled for. The Demand for Telangana wasn’t anything novel, it has a history limping 30 years back in time. But having said that, how can one neglect the implications it would cast on the rest of the country. Moreover it is not that KCR and his party have votes in their backyard to orchestrate his dramas and skits. Whatever the heck it is, it’s no good politics; it’s no good society.

Anyway that much for politics; that much for bullshit. Let’s talk about something more serious now. I would have jumped into a well to commit suicide at 3pm Saturday; Reason- A girl. Yeah, apparently the girl was 3 years old and her mummy was careless. It was in a general store that the girl noticed me wearing shorts. She wasted no time and began singing- “Shame shame puppy shame..” All the silly ladies around gaped at me as though I was standing naked on a dais or something. They tried their best to hide their laughter while I tried my best to control myself from dying at once. Anyway, I was wondering if I should actually share this silly incident here on my blog, but now that I have, you are welcome to throw anything you can grab on to, at my blog.

Anyway, guys I am sorry, I’ve finally updated my blog, but the fact remains that I’ve done it just for the sake of it. I didn’t/don’t know what to write. Until the tube light in my head glows back again, please wait. I’ll come up with something which might be worth a read this time. (Hey you! Put those raised eye-brows back to its place, at once!)
See you guys. Go on, share your stories of the recent past on the comments page; it’s always open. If ‘No’ is your answer, I’m not the type who would borrow a hanky, so don’t worry.
Have a gr8 Week ahead. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is
as important as it first seems. Enjoy!! 

P.S- If you have children of age around 3, please teach them manners. :P

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My Morning..!!

“Monicaaaaaaaaa….. Oh my darling…” RD Burman’s voice trickled through my peaceful ears as the clock struck 7 in the morning. If there was someone who knew how to wake me up, it was my dad. As I struggled through the process of opening my eyes, I noticed my dad standing like a policeman. “Don’t you remember that you have to go give your blood sample for the blood test?” he reminded me. I’m a man of silence and not violence, so woke up and began to make the walk to the bathroom. “Don’t get settled in your white house” another timely reminder. I remained silent and dragged myself into the loo. It was ironical, me being silent. I mean, just before I was woken up, I was having a heated argument with my dad in my dreams. Such a thing is possible only in my dreams, but that’s totally a different issue. Anyway, within fifteen minutes I was ready. By now, my dad was behind the wheel in the car, again Mr. RD Burman’s trumpets going wild. We breezed through the empty roads to the lab.

“Sir 420.” The lady behind the counter appealed to me.

“What (the hell)?”

“Rs. 420 sir.” She smiled.

Once I paid, I was escorted into a small cabin where a woman was waiting with a needle (ok, syringe). She began a search operation; where to poke this fellow. Finally, she smiled, I smiled and the blood was sucked. My God, my blood looked the darkest shade of maroon, almost brown. Finished this ‘bloody’ business with another smile and went back to the car. RD Burman never got tired, nor did my dad. Dad hit the accelerator and we were off. If you thought we were heading back home, you just put your leg into the gutter. No, my dad wouldn’t stop unless it was a hotel. He takes me hotels of his college time and puts me through his college stories. It was one such hotel; it was non vegetarian. For the first time I had non-veg for breakfast. It was so spicy that one could spot a waterfall from my eye and nose. Even small kids dint miss a stare.

We travelled another 5 kms to have the best tea and then headed home. The lion spotted the deer and was ready to attack. Sorry, I just meant to say that my mom was waiting for me. She literally blew steam into my ears- “Now, who will eat the breakfast that I prepared? Eat the same thing for lunch.” The orders came. So, here I am, the man of silence writing this post in search of some sympathy. I’ve made lunch plans with my friend already. Now how can I go keep my head into the lion’s mouth? Wats the way out?? Let’s see.

I actually also wanted to write about a play, that I had acted in, while in school. But I guess long posts are boring. Anyway, I’ll write about it very soon. Guess what, I was killed by Chatrapathi Shivaji in that play. :P

(Just this thing. Let me know your opinion. I’ve never written such stuff on my blog until recently. It has always been some fiction story or something. Always thought, such meaningless rants would be boring for people who read it. I actually still feel so. Let me know, if I should rather just write my usual thing or if such writes are okay? )

Have a super-duper weekend. Try to do nice things for people who will never find out. Yenjoyyy..!! :- :-)

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This, that and a tag..!!

I’m in mood to write total random stuff today. One way to settle a wandering mind. 

I ate ‘Khara Bun’. Yeah, and that too five of them since yesterday. (‘Khara’ in kannada means hot/spicy.) There’s a small story behind it though. The peon at my father’s office used brains. While he was going for lunch, my dad handed him 100 bucks and told him to get that much worth of Carbon (Carbon paper). Carbon – Khara Bun… yeah that’s what happened. 100 bucks ; Rs.4 each ; 25 buns ; 5 for me. ;)

After a long gap, saw Sreesanth on TV yesterday. My mind went dashing back to the visuals of the crying Sthree-santh. A 5 year old boy from the neighbourhood got offended when his dad told him to stop crying like Sreesanth. I remember when a dog entered the cricket stadium during the first IPL match, Cyrus Broacha commented- “Apparently, Sreesanth is not the only animal on a cricket field.” Too much man..!!

My hair started forming rings covering my forehead driving my dad into a sense of nostalgia. Reason – I looked like a south indian hero of the ‘black-and-white’ era. Anyway, in an attempt to do something about it, I borrowed a hair-clip from my sister and clipped it on. My sister said I looked like Hema Malini and giggled for an hour. The worst part was when I forgot about the clip and walked to a near-by ‘Grocery Store’. What a doofus I am..right?

I chanced upon this board near my place, snapped it and ……………………………




Want me to introduce you to this decent tailor??

And yeah, Happy Friendship Day to all of you.  I noticed that my real friends actually don’t wish me on this day. I kind of like that. I’m tired of artificial people that I’ve been witnessed to in the recent past. It’s like – If you can’t handle your friends in their worst then you don’t deserve them in their best. Simple. I’m lucky to have some genuine friends, to say the least. Note- Roshan not included :P

Since I’ve deviated from my usual fiction thing, I’ll go ahead and do this tag that StepHEN tagged me with. Good mood I’m in.

Where is your cell phone? On my computer table.
Relationship? Single
Your hair? indisciplined
Work? Uh? Uh.. uh .. uh??
Your sister?The best for me- Archana.
Your favorite thing? Dream :P
Your dream last night? My flight crash landed but I survived.
Your favorite drink? Tea and Pepsi.
Your dream car? Honda CRV.
The room youre in? bedroom
Your fears? Heights.
What do you want to be in 10 years? Can I say James Bond?
Who did you hang out with this weekend? Family
What are you not good at? Fighting.
One of your wish list items? Laptop.
Where you grew up? Namma Bengaluru.
Last thing you did? Missed a call. :P
What are you wearing? T-shirt, Bermuda. :P
What aren't you wearing? Socks. ;)
Your pet? none
Your computer? Yeah, my computer.
Your life? In a phase called- Licking Ice-Cream in HELL.
Your mood? Nice and fresh after a good sleep.
Missing? Happiness.
What are you thinking about right now? Thinking about rain and hot coffee.
Your kitchen? Not my department.
Your summer? Mangoes.
Your favorite color? Black.
Last time you laughed? Today choking on to that Khara Bun.
School? Missing it big time.
Love? What??

All you guys, you don’t need my permission to do this one. Go on.  See you all with a fiction soon. Tara, the birthday girl wants Roshan back. :P

Many Many Happy Returns Of The Day Tara.

See you all soon. Take care.

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