3hree Days

He stood there. He knew, a step backward meant a troubled ‘life’, a step ahead meant an unadorned leap to death. Suraj stood on the railing of his terrace, the sun drowning behind his back, the orange making way for black. Suicide, a cowardly act of bravery, Suraj’s heart thumped alternate beats of cowardice and bravery. Birds chirping, a surrounding which would make for a poetic dusk, he took the dreaded step forward and plunged to death; the orange of his life and the evening, gorily faded into lifeless black.

A day later, Akansha tried hard to feel sad for her colleague’s death, a death which fetched the employees of her new, small modest company a day off. Relieved that she finally got a day to rest, she tried to feel for the death of a colleague she hardly knew. She tried to paint Suraj’s face on her mind, making it a jig saw more than a clear painting. She couldn’t recollect any interaction with him except for the one time when he welcomed her with a brief smile into the lift. Anyway, she decided she shouldn’t spoil her mood with such depressing thoughts, so she picked up her bath towel and entered the bathroom. Thud!
A plain high pitched beep, an unbearable noise in her head she noticed as she gently tried to open her eyes. She found herself on the floor, the water from the shower washing off all the blood on those white floor tiles. With her blurred vision, she could see diluted red all over the floor, the hand shower thrown to one corner, and as she struggled to look up, she found a huge human figure with blurred drops of blood strewn on his black attire. Her state of complete inability for any kind of action, she only could stare at the huge human figure with blood and fear still gushing out of her veins. She faintly began to hear an echoed voice, a man’s voice she figured out. She could hear the giant man with an echoed voice better now – “You killed him, didn’t you?”

“Whom did I kill? Who …… are …. you?” she struggled.
The water from the shower still pouring on her feet, like music for terror and shock.

“Ah! Me? I’m someone everyone fears” he came closer to her face, “You want to take a guess?”

“Who are you?” she whispered. She raised her throttled voice- “Why are you doing this to me?”

“If you really want to know who I am, here it is.” He picked some diluted blood from the floor with his cupped fingers, stared into her eyes for a full minute, and poured it back on the floor- “I am ‘Death’.” He pulled up a stool, and settled with a smile- “Now tell me you don’t fear me.”

The noise in her head, the pain of injury and the mental shock didn’t help in trying to understand what this man was talking about. She held her stare trying to clear her vision.

“Let’s keep this simple. Do you want to die?” he sounded serious again.


He laughed; laughed scarily – “You human beings are all the same. Boring.” He looked firmly into her eyes- “Here’s the deal. I will send you 3 days back in time from when your colleague died. Your job is to prevent him from suicide.” He bends, moves closer to her- “And what you get for doing this? Well, your ‘Life’” positioning himself under the stream of falling water from the shower, as he slowly faded out, he announced- “And what you lose if you fail to do it?” paused -“Your ‘Life’” vanished.

In the stark reality of the world, there she was in a ridiculous fictional development. Before she could even grow the thought of how this could be possible, there she was, opening her eyes, yet again, to a beautiful morning- Day 1 of the next three days of her life; Day 1 of the next three days to save her life; Day1 of probably the last three days of her life; maybe Day1 of the rest of her life.

(will be continued……)


In The Name Of Updating My Blog..!! - 4

I just hacked my blog and have decided to indulge in some cheating. My good friend Ms. Insomnia would understand better. I’m not supposed to write on this blog anymore actually. Again, my good friend would understand it better dude. Well, why won’t I write much these days? Yo man, I can see my good friend raise her hand with a pointed finger. A dumb person once asked me “Which finger?”

1) Roshan, since a couple of weeks has been reading this twenty five page book on ‘Inner Peace’. Yesterday, when I asked him to focus on his work, he gave me a disturbing smile. The smile so disturbing that even put his passport photo to shame; the smile that would put Mahatma Gandhi of Indian currency fame to a constipated frown.

2) I hate to even write this word nowadays but anyway here it is – ‘Kolaveri’. What this word has done is, even when I mean it from the ass of my heart, my imaginative girl friend laughs it out and says- “Song’s become popular man!”

3) I realized ‘Modern Art’ is nothing but my handwriting. You know something’s nice about it, but would ultimately deduce – “What the fuck is this?”

4) I’m very sarcastic. Apart from my victims Roshan and Isaac Newton who is (unfortunately) no more, there is one more person who is least affected by it. It’s an easy guess. He’s a monkey from Kerala; the kind who would dance on a cricket pitch. I know I also get a bit racist sometimes, but it’s okay, a gentleman named Andrew Symonds from Below (read Down Under) would understand the sentiments.

5) In politically correct words ‘Our Government’ and in politically correct words ‘Sonia ji’s Puppets’, they have a tough time come next elections. For instance, Manmohan Singh will actually have to open his mouth and say- “Vote for us” and Mr. Rahul Gandhi. the great, will actually have to shut his mouth and say- “Vote for us.”

(pic courtesy- onlinefunnyphotos.blogspot.com)

6) Relationships are like secret farts. As my good friend Pandurang and someone named William Shakespeare once said- “All’s well that ends well.”

7) Roshan told me about his female boss at his work place and how she makes him work for 25 hours a day. I told him it’s common nowadays and that every Anna will have a Bedi. He dint quite get it, so I went on to tell him about our Prime Minister.

8) Few of my Kannada speaking friends might find this funny. A few Maharashtrian sir names are funny. Sample this for now- Supriya Sule and Priyanka Munde.

9) Well, just an update on my Pune life. Nothing has changed. I still feel like a Blind man in front of Taj Mahal. My eyes still have throat problems. Girls here still wrap up their faces like parcel packets. Reason- still unknown.

10) “You think you are smart and sexy, don’t you? Well, I think I'm funny and I can’t control my laughter.” I have this habit of talking to myself.


Tata… Bye Bye…

Hii guys!!! Just to inform you that I might not write on this blog anymore. If and when I open another blog, I shall let you know. Thank You so much everyone. :)


Pune Diary..!!

Well, it has been almost four months since I shifted to Pune for my post grad. The minute I landed I had this weird feeling as though I had taken the wrong flight and landed in a wrong place. I felt like my last days were coming, I mean I thought I landed in an Arab country. The reason, let me tell you- Almost literally all the girls here tie up their faces with bed sheet sized shawls. I mean, what if I winked at a girl and she winks back and reveals that she’s got no nose? Man, in this city I feel like a blind man on a tour to Taj mahal. Anyway, I think I’m exaggerating too much.

My blog, poor thing, if it was my wife or something it would have poured kerosene on me and set me ablaze. Sorry. By the way, how you guys, those remaining one or two doing?? :)

This part of the country is so damn different from the south. These guys dance for everything. I mean everything. Well this reminds me that I’ve landed in Maharashtra. For one, I don’t know Marati. To top that, when I speak to them with my silly broken Hindi, you can imagine how pissing it can be. If you belong to the Thackrey family, make note, I should top the list- “To be kicked out.” But anyway, I’ve fallen in love with this city. I mean, what else to fall in love with? Girls? I’ll tell you when I get to see them. But seriously, love this city. It has the right mix. Not too crowded, no big traffic jams, no road rage; I’m coming from Bangalore by the way.

So yeah, after 3 months of life without a television, we finally bought one. Since then, CWG is the name spinning in my head all day. God, they found snakes there? I mean, what else if you name it CWG VILLAGE? I just hope things are completed on time; like I don’t want to see sign boards like “Take Diversion” while the athletes are running in the race.

And what’s this shit all about? I’ll just talk a line and chak comes the reply- Are you from Bangalore?? and I’ll be like- “Where the hell did you get that from?”
Anyway, I have loads to write about. But then, I get news nowadays that people whom I don’t want to read my blog are finding their way into here. So, until next time, take good care, see ya.

By the way, I ask these girls why they cover up their faces like lady terrorists; and they tell me- “Pollution.” Shit-o-shit. Crap-o-crap


In the name of- Updating my Blog..!! - 3

1)Just because I did not update my blog, you people need not do this. Become responsible citizens; be friends with nature. My sincere request-

2)First things first, I have been in the well. Have you been in the well too?? I will keep you in my prayers (to Shaktiman), if you’ve not been in the well, don’t you worry.

3)I said “First things first” in the second point. Kick me on my backside.

4)Oh My God! I am unbelievably intelligent. Look, how well I tackled point 3.

5)I was asked to stay at home today apparently because people thought I was too “HOT” to handle. I floated on ‘cloud nine’ until mom gave me the killer punch; she told it was just ‘fever’. Environmentalists say it’s ‘Global Warming’.

6)I’ve learned to cook a few dishes lately. The word spreads so fast; it’s been a month since a guest last came home.

7)I know I waste time on the internet. But, what did great people do?? That guy Newton sat under an apple tree.

8)On deep introspection, I found a common word that wrecked my life; TABLES. In school, it was the ‘Arithmetic multiplication tables’; and then there were ‘Dining Tables’.

9)I asked my friend- “How did you spend your weekend??” He replied like Mr. Cool-as-cucumber, “I was ‘hanging’ with my friends.” I didn’t meet/talk to him ever since. I’m scared of ghosts.

10)I met this guy recently, and somewhere in between our conversation I told him- “I’m presently suffering. This bloody Writers Block.” He asked me innocently- “Is there a separate block for writers in your Apartment??”

11)I gave Roshan an invaluable advice- “When a girl is explaining how much she loves you, you should not interfere to correct her grammar.”

12)Hey guys, do you remember Dhoni? Yeah, the same guy, who once upon a time had long hair, which made girls lose their minds. Remember? Yeah, he went to Afridi before the match and threatened- “One more win and we’ll send Rakhi too.”

13)Roshan, who had an exam that day, told me- “My bed is full of books.” I advised him to sleep on the floor.

14)I guess you guys would remember the way I used to blow steam into your ears with all my Kidnapped-by-the-American-President dreams?? Here’s an update if you care. I’ve migrated from America. Later, I fell for an Italian girl, whom I met in an Indian Passenger train.

15)I told Roshan- “I have a cruch on ‘Mayanti’.” He thought I said- “I have a crush on ‘My Aunty’.”

16)Wow, it’s true. My grandfather had a farm. Not on facebook.

17)I’ve been giving Roshan a lot of advices lately. He told me he wanted to become the best ‘Neurosurgeon’ in town. I told him to relax and take it easy, cos the day I break his head, then the only person who could save him would be ‘HIM’. Irony.

18)My computer makes all sorts of grunting sounds nowadays. I think the Mother board needs a father board.

19)Breaking News: During the match, Maradona burnt more calories than his players.

20)I watched a 20-20 game between Essex and Middlesex yesterday. I thought ‘Star Cricket’ was a family channel.

This is for you, if you are not exactly a Genius-

Well that’s it for now. See you. Take care. Be in the well. Don’t forget my first point. ;)


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