Doomed..!!


Neha – “ You are sooooo sweeeeet RJ .”

Me (RJ- aRJun) – “ Oh really? Am I so?” obviously I’m so.

My cell phone as ever disturbed me and it was VJ (ViJay) on the other side.

VJ- “Hey RJ! I got to take my brother to the dentist.”

Me- “ So?”

VJ-“ And then I have some very important work to do.”

Me- “ So?”

VJ- “ I have to give a presentation in the class tomorrow. A power point presentation.”

Me- “So?”

VJ- “ You got to do it for me. I mean , prepare the slides and I’ll collect it from you by evening. Moreover, I’m not feeling well.”

Me- “ Then go fall in the well. You see flowers in my ears or what? You do this every time.”

VJ- “ I’ll do the SS assignment for you. I promise. Please dude?”

I hated SS as a subject. My SS (Signals & Systems) text book has been my latest sleeping partner. The more I read the more I got confused and the more I get confused more I sleep. Kind of weird but true. Anyway, VJ hit me on my weak point.

Me- “ Okay. Get the details and the text for the slides soon to my home.”

VJ- “ Thank You. And by the way, how u doin?”

It hadn’t been even a day since we met. But I knew where that line had come from.

Me- “ I’m not falling for all that. Screw up everything of yours and come soon.” We hung up.



Back to the messenger - Gtalk. Neha, my classmate was online. I never said out loud anywhere but I kind of liked her.

Neha- “ So, what are your hobbies?”

Me- “ I collect stamps and old coins.” I haven’t seen a stamp in ten years.

Neha- “ Oh yeah? Very good. I too do that. I want to see your collection.”

Me- “ Were you a mischievous girl in school or the innocent kind? ” stupid as it gets but anything to change the topic. Stamps, old coins, what bullshit?

Neha- “ I was very naughty, u know? Once when I was 15, I had eaten an ice cream and never paid for that. Haha…” She must have giggled, I thought. She typed- “ What about you? What kind were you those days?”

Me- “ I was a very innocent guy. Just that I never paid for pani puri since the age of 6.”

Neha- “haha… stupid.” This must have either meant- ‘ Oh what a nice sense of humour you have. You are an interesting guy.’ Or rather it just meant – ‘What a stupid guy you are.”

Me- “ In fact, until the age of 15, I thought my name was ‘Stupid’.”

Neha- “ haha…. Who dared to change it after 15? ;), Anyway RJ, I got to leave now. See you at college tomorrow.”

Me- “ Yeah. Cya.”

I like her man, I really do. She keeps boasting about me and who hates that? Anyway, as I keep saying – “ My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying” nothing comes easy to me.

15 minutes later VJ drops by and gives me his pen-drive and departs. Over the next 2 hours or so, I completed his work in a not so bad way. As a matter of fact, anything was good for him. Nobody was at home and I felt bored. I switched on the TV and to my wonderful luck the power went off. There was a carving of ‘Lord Ganesh’ on the wall and I stared at it as if to say- “ what is the matter with you?” and turned away.

I then went out to the balcony. It was 6 in the evening now. Two children were playing badminton on the street and I had a good neck exercise watching them play. A few younger children were playing ‘Hide-n-Seek’. I tried to help the guy who was seeking and all the other children noticed it and started singing at him and me –“ Cheater- Cheater – Cheater.” I felt like jumping off the balcony. Just then I saw my neighbour walk out. He’s Ankit, a junior to me. He’s the ‘Dude of the area’ kind. He called out – “ Hey RJ, you free now? I got to get my guitar repaired. Would you join me?”

I yelled out- “ 2 mins dude. I’ll come.”

I got ready and left with him. It was the first time I sat behind him in a two wheeler and at once I felt ‘bungee-jumping’ was better. We reached the place and he went in with his guitar while I was standing outside checking out the ‘Café Coffee Day’ female customers. The place was filled with jobless people and couples, I thought. I never had the talent to drink coffee for an hour, so I wasn’t a regular to such outlets.

As I gazed through, I found a guy with a black T-shirt sitting alone in a table. No prizes for guesses, it was that damn VJ. He deserved a tight bash on his nose. I breezed through people into the outlet towards his table. As I saw him, he too spotted me. As I almost reached him, a girl came with two mugs of coffee mugs and slid opposite him in his table. Small prizes for guessing, it was Neha. I stood still for a minute maybe with my mouth open. She din’t spot me but VJ was still looking at me with a question mark on his face. Nobody knew how to react. I swallowed all the abuses which usually comes to my mind in a flash, looked into his eyes as if to say- “ What an ultimate asshole you are”, took an about turn and left breezing away with another bungee jump into my ‘home-sweet-safe-home’.

The next day, VJ got a full dose from me and about Neha, I decided it’s better to concentrate on SS. At least I would have an outside chance.

27 additions to the crap:

uchiha tejesh November 10, 2008 at 11:00 PM  

Neha.... , I love that name ^_^

Anyways when you have a girlfriend and peanuts of pocket money , you will learn to spend 1 hour over a coffee rather than taking her to some other fancy place ^_^

sunny_raju November 11, 2008 at 2:55 AM  

Hey u though are master of fiction n humour, u always invent some thing now this Rj , VJ thing.
ur posts bring a smile :)

miss attitude November 11, 2008 at 6:43 AM  

that's like a slap in the face
I'm a girl and its happened
shit...
not good man
well i hope you know what to expect now ... seems like things are the same with us both- if something good happens, usually something eff's it up haha
oh and yah about the "hehe" thing if you honestly thought it was mental or didn't get it, (which I hope you do but oh well) here's a tip: its just a "haha if you were here i'd giggle" thing
=)
good luck on finding a great girl!
and well... sorry about... VJ :/

Arjun November 11, 2008 at 7:28 AM  

@tej

maybe.... In fact i don't mind....The fictious character called Rj doesn't like it.. hehe...

@Sunny

As ever, Thanks.. :)

@miss attitude

This is fiction. Thanks for dropping by.... ;)

Richa November 11, 2008 at 10:13 AM  

lolz...
the world is full of Nehas n Vjs..
anyways, i guess u wud have better luck next tym :D

the post was gr8, n a fiction it was humrous.

Gr8 work!! :)

Vivek Menon November 11, 2008 at 10:14 AM  

Hmmm first of all i must say i really like the template..Post wise Super raman was more fun to read...:D Nice fiction(if it is fiction)as it reads easily and is very believable...Keep posting bro...cheers

Shruti November 11, 2008 at 5:05 PM  

OMG!! everytime I read ur posts I end up writing OMG...
It was quite pitiful but thats how friends are you see. Thank God that's fiction
;)
Visit me sometime..

Dark_Gal November 12, 2008 at 12:23 AM  

whoa!

good one there!!!

I had seen a similar incident with a friend!

What a day that was! Kindling love thrown away paper ball crushed!!!

Followed with all the swears in all possible languages!!!


It was funny!!!


Good work there!!!


Keep posting
!!!

:)

Misty Rhythm November 12, 2008 at 7:41 AM  

hahaa...neha commenting on a story abt neha!!
i almost predicted the end :P...but as always, the humor is bang on!
"if i bought a cemetery people would stop dying"...lol

VIDYA November 12, 2008 at 9:40 AM  

Hey..liked the post...it was funny and the best part is,it was funny without trying to be funny at all...im guessing you have a natural flair for everyday fiction...Keep writing!

saif November 12, 2008 at 12:24 PM  

wow...another great post...and that name...that reminds me of my first love...neha :-{

I'll try 2 be truthful November 12, 2008 at 6:12 PM  

:D HA ,thats why i never chat & flirt .

C R D November 13, 2008 at 11:52 PM  

haha! mindblowingly funny one man!! u can actually start a series abt u and ur pesky frnd [:P]

keep writing man
CRD

Luscious Sealed Lips November 14, 2008 at 12:24 AM  

LOL.

Neha was too dumb for you anyway. Old Coins, Stamps and not paying for ice cream once.

I am sure you can do better. ;)

Kisses.

Rashi V November 14, 2008 at 4:03 PM  

haha! I agree with the person above..She was really dumb....


I liked the line about the cemetery and yeah i too have that kinda luck! Wanna start a joint venture?

Arjun November 14, 2008 at 7:13 PM  

@above
The point is- I don't even get dumb girls.... :(

n u build a cemetry next to mine.. We shall have a competition... lol ;)

Thanks everyone.. :)

Cheers..!!
Arjun

LEARNING TO FLY November 15, 2008 at 12:24 PM  

heheh! I really had a great time reading the post! I have completed my B.E. this year itself and am working for a VLSI company in Karnataka and I miss my college days like hell! Your post just transformed me back to college! Take care!
P.S. : Barista is a better place than CCD. I used to spend a few hours there just contemplating on life and meeting some interesting bohemians.

stuntman mike November 15, 2008 at 11:44 PM  

tsk tsk....

i know wat RJ would be feelin ... i guesss most of us guys feel this foolish once or twice in life !!

the story was predictable ... but in a way that itself was the beauty of it ....

Priyanka November 16, 2008 at 12:48 PM  

hey...i really like ur short funny stories..cool...post more on WL...
n the 'comments' section...lol..wht a funny name..'additions to the crap'...wow.. :D

Winnie the poohi November 16, 2008 at 7:54 PM  

random blog hopper here!

I loved it!

Akansha Agrawal November 18, 2008 at 5:51 PM  

Whoa! You seem to be having a huge readerz base... Anyway, yes I loved this piece of work, as it happens I'd read a similar story somewhere not so long ago, but the way you've woven the humor around it, is what gives it its most distinctive touch...

RINZU SUSAN RAJAN November 20, 2008 at 6:41 PM  

humor woven wonderfully around an almost realistic scene...

u have some phd in humor management...

u manage it soo well...and the presentation turns out to be perfect like the last presentation after a phd...!!!

i am almost reaching the award...!!!

hehehehe

;D

Pretty Me!! November 21, 2008 at 3:02 PM  

man ! i love ur posts ... wish had more time to read rest too :)

Ashish November 21, 2008 at 10:42 PM  

perfect plot for a love triangle, the characters are complete in their own way.........nice...

i'm_alive November 25, 2008 at 9:22 AM  

When I reached the end of the post, I checked ur tags to confirm that this was fiction... And thankfully, it was.. :)

Written well. Very intriguing...I guess that has become your forte..writing imaginative, relatable pieces with a tinge of humour at the right places.

Keep writing :)

smile-a-mile November 25, 2008 at 11:51 PM  

forget ss man.. only nerds pass the paper in the first chance... you will understand the subject better when you study dsp, desperate signal processing, later... two subjects in one shot... what say? :)

Manasa November 30, 2008 at 12:00 PM  

I did read the whole post. Nice way of writing and i pity you for what happened :P

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