Doomed..!!

Neha – “ You are sooooo sweeeeet RJ .”

Me (RJ- aRJun) – “ Oh really? Am I so?” obviously I’m so.

My cell phone as ever disturbed me and it was VJ (ViJay) on the other side.

VJ- “Hey RJ! I got to take my brother to the dentist.”

Me- “ So?”

VJ-“ And then I have some very important work to do.”

Me- “ So?”

VJ- “ I have to give a presentation in the class tomorrow. A power point presentation.”

Me- “So?”

VJ- “ You got to do it for me. I mean , prepare the slides and I’ll collect it from you by evening. Moreover, I’m not feeling well.”

Me- “ Then go fall in the well. You see flowers in my ears or what? You do this every time.”

VJ- “ I’ll do the SS assignment for you. I promise. Please dude?”

I hated SS as a subject. My SS (Signals & Systems) text book has been my latest sleeping partner. The more I read the more I got confused and the more I get confused more I sleep. Kind of weird but true. Anyway, VJ hit me on my weak point.

Me- “ Okay. Get the details and the text for the slides soon to my home.”

VJ- “ Thank You. And by the way, how u doin?”

It hadn’t been even a day since we met. But I knew where that line had come from.

Me- “ I’m not falling for all that. Screw up everything of yours and come soon.” We hung up.


Back to the messenger - Gtalk. Neha, my classmate was online. I never said out loud anywhere but I kind of liked her.

Neha- “ So, what are your hobbies?”

Me- “ I collect stamps and old coins.” I haven’t seen a stamp in ten years.

Neha- “ Oh yeah? Very good. I too do that. I want to see your collection.”

Me- “ Were you a mischievous girl in school or the innocent kind? ” stupid as it gets but anything to change the topic. Stamps, old coins, what bullshit?

Neha- “ I was very naughty, u know? Once when I was 15, I had eaten an ice cream and never paid for that. Haha…” She must have giggled, I thought. She typed- “ What about you? What kind were you those days?”

Me- “ I was a very innocent guy. Just that I never paid for pani puri since the age of 6.”

Neha- “haha… stupid.” This must have either meant- ‘ Oh what a nice sense of humour you have. You are an interesting guy.’ Or rather it just meant – ‘What a stupid guy you are.”

Me- “ In fact, until the age of 15, I thought my name was ‘Stupid’.”

Neha- “ haha…. Who dared to change it after 15? ;), Anyway RJ, I got to leave now. See you at college tomorrow.”

Me- “ Yeah. Cya.”

I like her man, I really do. She keeps boasting about me and who hates that? Anyway, as I keep saying – “ My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying” nothing comes easy to me.

15 minutes later VJ drops by and gives me his pen-drive and departs. Over the next 2 hours or so, I completed his work in a not so bad way. As a matter of fact, anything was good for him. Nobody was at home and I felt bored. I switched on the TV and to my wonderful luck the power went off. There was a carving of ‘Lord Ganesh’ on the wall and I stared at it as if to say- “ what is the matter with you?” and turned away.

I then went out to the balcony. It was 6 in the evening now. Two children were playing badminton on the street and I had a good neck exercise watching them play. A few younger children were playing ‘Hide-n-Seek’. I tried to help the guy who was seeking and all the other children noticed it and started singing at him and me –“ Cheater- Cheater – Cheater.” I felt like jumping off the balcony. Just then I saw my neighbour walk out. He’s Ankit, a junior to me. He’s the ‘Dude of the area’ kind. He called out – “ Hey RJ, you free now? I got to get my guitar repaired. Would you join me?”

I yelled out- “ 2 mins dude. I’ll come.”

I got ready and left with him. It was the first time I sat behind him in a two wheeler and at once I felt ‘bungee-jumping’ was better. We reached the place and he went in with his guitar while I was standing outside checking out the ‘Café Coffee Day’ female customers. The place was filled with jobless people and couples, I thought. I never had the talent to drink coffee for an hour, so I wasn’t a regular to such outlets.

As I gazed through, I found a guy with a black T-shirt sitting alone in a table. No prizes for guesses, it was that damn VJ. He deserved a tight bash on his nose. I breezed through people into the outlet towards his table. As I saw him, he too spotted me. As I almost reached him, a girl came with two mugs of coffee mugs and slid opposite him in his table. Small prizes for guessing, it was Neha. I stood still for a minute maybe with my mouth open. She din’t spot me but VJ was still looking at me with a question mark on his face. Nobody knew how to react. I swallowed all the abuses which usually comes to my mind in a flash, looked into his eyes as if to say- “ What an ultimate asshole you are”, took an about turn and left breezing away with another bungee jump into my ‘home-sweet-safe-home’.

The next day, VJ got a full dose from me and about Neha, I decided it’s better to concentrate on SS. At least I would have an outside chance.