Totally Jammed.......!!!


I discovered a game of ‘car-race’ on my phone, I listened to some stupid radio station, I ate peanuts and I almost pulled off my hair, all while I was sitting alone in the driver’s seat of my car stuck in a mega traffic jam. I could only see an ocean of vehicles all around me. The traffic wasn’t moving a bit. It had been an hour now and I deduced that it was not a regular traffic jam. Meanwhile all the roadside sellers got busy selling peanuts, cucumbers and water packets. I called the ‘peanut-guy’ and asked – “What’s this traffic jam about?”

He said – “ Don’t you read the newspaper?” I usually give one chance before I bash up someone when they ask questions like that.

I said –“ I’m very poor. I don’t have money to buy a newspaper. Can you please tell me?”

He looked at me weirdly and said- “ There is a JD-S ( a political party here in Karnataka) rally going on. It might take at least another two hours to clear.”

“ How far ahead is the traffic blocked?”

“Around 5 kms” he said and asked if I wanted some peanuts.

“Yes” I said and gave him five bucks.

“You said you are poor and you don’t have money?” he asked. I dint slap him, I just smiled.

Okay, now it made sense. There were two big posters on both sides of the road in front of me with those party leaders all smiling along with a caption- “Sons of the soil.” I dint have any stones with me, so I dint pelt any on them. I then grabbed my phone out so that I could make a few calls to my jobless friends and pass time. Jeezzzz…. The network was jammed. Since I had switched off my car, I opened all the windows for some air. The guy in a car to the left of mine called out to me and asked- “ How do I have to go to reach ‘The Windsor Manor’?”

“ I guess, you’ve got to fly above all these vehicles here.” I said.

He turned to his people accompanying him in his car and would have said something like- “Look at that guy in that car. He’s such a dumb ass.” But he looked back at me with an irritating face and asked- “ After the traffic clears, which way should I go? Tell me properly.”

I’m not a dumb ass, so I replied- “ Same road ahead. About 5 kms from here.”

“Thank You” he said, which sounded like ‘Get Lost’.

On my right was a ‘Ford’ with a cool looking aunty sitting over the side closer to me. We both looked at each other and exchanged sad smiles. She relocated her sunglasses to her forehead and said- “ These politicians na, they are such idiots. Irresponsible idiots. See their posters, they are a shame and they say they are the ‘sons of the soil’.”

“Shall we send them back into the soil, aunty?”

“Haha. But, really they are senseless.”

“Yeah. They are our so-called ‘leaders’ and their sons (who are local rowdies) are our future leaders. You and I would only die of BP arguing about all this, but it makes no difference.”

Aunty liked me. She smiled and said- “ Yeah. That’s true. So since how long have you been a resident of Bangalore?”

“I was born here, aunty. I’m the ‘Son of the soil’.”

“haha. Good one.”

Anyway, then I got out of the car, stretched myself. Found a public telephone, called my parents and informed them that I will be late. I then spotted a police guy and thought about sharing the idea of ‘sending the sons of the soil back to the soil’ but then I would be counting rods of the prison door with a few complimentary strokes on my back. So, cleverly I went back to my car, reclined the seats to the extent, closed all the windows to three quarters and slept.

I dreamt of me roaming around in the US. Every time man….. every single time…

About two hours later, in between my dream and reality I heard sounds with 3D effects as if devils were entering. I suddenly woke up to find out that the vehicles behind me were honking and the traffic was moving. I put the car into ignition and started. After an hour and a half I reached my home, for dinner, ate the food, which was prepared as lunch originally and slept again. One heck of a ‘jammy evening’.

28 additions to the crap:

Another Blogger November 19, 2008 at 3:40 PM  

oh i know how these jams feel... it is especially irritating when you have to get somewhere urgently - like a toilet!!!

i love your sarcasm...
keep it coming..

Winnie the poohi November 19, 2008 at 4:56 PM  

when did it exactly happen and where ?

:D :D

Akansha Agrawal November 19, 2008 at 6:04 PM  

Oh, we're going to see them everywhere very soon, just follow the trail of the election dates in different states and you can even claim to be able to predict the future...

Misty Rhythm November 19, 2008 at 6:22 PM  

ahh....beloved india....traffic jams...rallies...damn i miss home! lol
i'm just curious...which part of the "partly fiction" was fiction?
well...needless to say...great post. you're funny :P

Chintan Patel November 19, 2008 at 6:30 PM  

yaa, traffic jams can be annoying and temper flaring...

a very nice template..

And a nice heading for the comment box... ;-)

Arjun November 19, 2008 at 6:53 PM  

@winnie

u'll file a case uh?? lol.. in B'lore yar....

@akansha

true.. and it's nothing new.....aint it??
Thanks for dropping by.. :)

@misty

i was stuck in that traffic jam was true... i had a nap was true... rest was fiction.. ;)
I'm funny.... nice joke... :)

@chintan

Thank u.....

Usha Pisharody November 19, 2008 at 7:00 PM  

:) Nice read!
I saw it on TV, with Mr Deve Gowda, [apparently :d] apologizing for the inconvenience caused, lol!

I like the laid back humour :) comes across really well!

And well, great look, the blog! Hope to be here again!

sunny_raju November 19, 2008 at 7:20 PM  

I did see in TV9
and look at the way he has deffended in todays news papers, oh sorry ur poor to buy one ha ha jus kidding
well it was an idiotic statement whn he says city ppl want all comfort, well Mr kumaraswamy its not coming free of cost for us sir, we do pay taxes for it
Good write up Bro

RINZU SUSAN RAJAN November 19, 2008 at 7:32 PM  

traffic jams..rallies..vvips movments...

the good old indian traffic scene...

liked the last line "jammy evening"...

:)

well u must now gimme an award coz i guess i have commented on almsot all ur posts...

hehehehehe

:D

Pretty Me!! November 19, 2008 at 7:35 PM  

b'lore scenario rt ???

i loved ur blog design BTW :)

Arjun November 19, 2008 at 7:39 PM  

@sunny

to put it simply - Deve Gowda and his family are a curse to the state... I haven't seen a more shameless person than that old useless Deve Gowda ....

I feel like making rumalee rotis on his bald head...

@ rinzu

When there is no 'almost' there, i will give u an award.. lol ;)
thanks anyways...

@usha
Thank you....

This wasn't meant to be a serious post at all... The reference of politics is enuf to prove it.. haha ;) sry..

Cheers..!!
Arjun

Priyanka November 19, 2008 at 8:32 PM  

ur funny sarcastic comments aftr each dialouge r really cooool!!
great arjun!! :)

Richa November 20, 2008 at 3:48 AM  

yea yeah the traffic jams r really terrific (sarcstically)

n more annoying even wen thry r raleted to some political stuff,, i understand :D

enjoyed the post though

cheers!!

uchiha tejesh November 20, 2008 at 5:26 PM  

you had your mobile and sill called your parents from a public telephone ???

:D

Next time carry your homework in the car, you will be so bored that you might actually do it ( on your own)

Arjun November 20, 2008 at 6:11 PM  

@uchiha

The network was jammed...
Read it once again.. ;)

It's a wonder by itself if i do my homework at home... wat u talkin abt ?? ;) lolz

Tara November 20, 2008 at 8:43 PM  

I love the template yaar...looks ultra cool! The post made for a good read, I loved the sarcastic humor, that went so well with it!

"I dint slap him, I just smiled."
Well put!

"few complimentary strokes on my back" Hehee..very funny! One five star hotel this...with a beautiful room, "friendly" staff and comlimentary strokes! Hahaaa!

My first time here, and definitely not my last! :)

smile-a-mile November 22, 2008 at 2:09 AM  

boy, bangalore can be a sad place to be during those traffic jams.. thats one thing i dont have to worry about :) i left bang last week after spending nearly 3 years there..

Arjun November 22, 2008 at 9:45 AM  

@above

People from all over INdia have migrated to B'lore for jobs and education.... This city is just overflowing... Hence all these traffic jams n stuff.....

It's very rare to see people move out frm here... I'm surprised to hear u...
Am planning to move out as well in a few years though i'm a complete local to this lovely place.. :)

Cheers..!!
Arjun

...nIShAntH... November 22, 2008 at 1:52 PM  

Very captivating narration ...
Heard bout those extra long traffic jams in bangalore..Sucks eh..

was a nice read dude..Keep bloggin.

SAIF November 24, 2008 at 9:14 PM  

haha ..i had the same experience...but there was no aunty dude..

IF-SO-GUY November 25, 2008 at 1:49 AM  

reading thru , i'm too remembered of few but not such long, yet darn irritating traffic jams here in Chennai.. gud post...

viyoma November 25, 2008 at 9:30 AM  

Too Good...for the post..
As for the Traffic Jam...Make a visit to Mumbai and experience the difference!

Pretty Me!! November 25, 2008 at 2:31 PM  

Hi .. Here is somethign for you .. Hope you like it :

http://creatingnewblog.blogspot.com/2008/11/my-first-blog-award.html

Deepz November 26, 2008 at 4:33 AM  

yeah.., 6 hrs of grueling pain..all in this bloody traffic jams..i believe Indians are getting immuned to it now a days..

spicymist November 27, 2008 at 12:48 PM  

hahaha. u actually fell asleep. " I dint have any stones with me, so I dint pelt any on them "
rofl. i could actually imagine the conversation taking place. and i updated the blog finally but sadly i hate the reason fot it

Sach! November 28, 2008 at 8:44 PM  

TJ can be painful at times :-)
@Aunty :) :)
Nice post!
n a nicer blog too..

LEARNING TO FLY November 28, 2008 at 11:21 PM  

Hey! Its so much fun to read your post! This one is great. Take care and THANKS!!! Keep smiling.........

Priya Joyce November 29, 2008 at 5:27 PM  

tat was fun to read..nice work man

:)

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