Hometown Tales..!!

I have this habit of checking out the time whenever I start writing a post. Reason? Don’t ask. Most things I do will not have reasons. Ok, the point is, right now, as I start writing this, my watch shows, an Indian mathematician’s swear word- 4:20. Ok, now that this post has begun in such a terrible way, it can’t get worse. So don’t worry. ;)

It was 4 days ago, my right thigh itched and hence I dug my vibrating phone from my pant’s pocket. A message from Airtel said- ‘Welcome to Andhra Pradesh. We wish you a pleasant stay’. A pleasant stay was exactly what I was expecting as I was heading to my hometown (rather, my grand parents’ hometown). Airtel, though the message was heart-melting, I knew it actually conveyed something like- “ You will be charged for incoming calls now, you stupid.” Like an enlightened man, I made up my mind that I shouldn’t pick calls from unknown numbers. Three cheers to Mr. Co-Incidence, my phone started ringing flashing an unknown number. Since I am ‘ME’, I picked it- “Hello.”

“Hello Sir, Good Morning, I’m calling from Airtel.” A cute voice of an young girl from the other side said.

“Good Morning. Tell me.”

“Had your breakfast, Sir?”
I was about to ask her if she was single. I mean, man, How Caring!

“Nope. Tell me what.”

“Sir, you have an amazing offer to convert your sim to post-paid.”

“No. Thank You.” damn.. One call wasted.

We entered the small town, called ‘Madanapalle’ known as – ‘The Tomato Town’. A town where all the heroes would be walking right-royally in the centre of the road and when you ‘horn’, you’d be greeted with evil looks, as if their eyes had the capacity to launch fire balls. Anyway, we finally arrived at my relative’s place where we were welcomed warmly. I don’t know if I should actually use the expression- warm. Why would I prefer a warm welcome in such a warm place?


(Picture changed..... Over a suggestion by my dear friend, Sunil. :) )

After the 4 hour long journey, I had to make a trip to the white-house. If you are new to my blog, well, guess what is a ‘white-house’. They have this attached toilet in one of the rooms. I wonder if that is where the concept of Attached toilets originated. I mean, it is so small that, once you enter in, you would get attached. Anyway, after all the freshening-up, it was time for lunch. My plate arrived, and I could hardly see the metal below. It was that full.
“Aunty, I can’t eat this much, please take away some.”

“Eat.”

“See my size already. Please.”

“Eat.”

“I can’t eat this much.”

“Eat.”

“Puuleeaaaseeeeeee..”

“Eat” damn… damn

After the Eating Dhamaka ended, by evening it was time to attend a marriage-reception. All my relatives were present. Everytime they’d see me, they would perform the ‘question-mark’ dance, as I call it. They would make a wavy movement of their head as if like drawing a question mark, which would mean- “ How are you and your family back home?” for which my reply would be an ‘S’ dance. First half of the ‘S’ would indicate- “Yeah, me and my family are doing good.” And the second half of the ‘S’ would enquire- “How are you and your family by the way?” Next, we would settle the matter with a mutual smile. The exercise continues throughout the evening though.

Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you about the most interesting part of the people there- GOSSIP. You go to A’s place. A says- “ C is such an idiot. How dare she did that to me?” and you would be like- “ Yeah. Right.”
Then you go to C’s place and C would be like- “ A is such a bitch. She’s shameless.” And you’ll be like – “Oh yeah. Exactly.”
6 months later, A and C would be the greatest of friends, and You’d have been named as B & would be the idiot for nosing in between A and C.

Anyway, I can go on and on writing this, but now I see this post has dragged a bit too long. So, I’ll continue maybe next time. Anyone willing to do a study on the above mentioned characteristics, you are welcome to my home-town. Pregnant ladies, please stay away. A combination of those ‘front-engine auto rickshaws’ and those ‘roads’ is the last thing I would want to see you in.

By the way, the next evening as we were leaving, I got another call, an unknown number again. I picked- “Hello.”

“Hello Sir, Good Evening, I’m calling from airtel.” The same cute voice I think.

“ Good Evening. Tell me.”

“How was your day, Sir?”

Ahaa…… Man, I’m single too. ;)

38 additions to the crap:

Dr. Chandana Shekar September 5, 2009 at 8:30 PM  

heheh. nice experience... i know it happens when u go to small towns like dat... anyways, nice u ate well. and abt the airtel calls, well , i totally agree. even i get calls from customer care when i go roaming. when im in my home state, those people think im dead or somethin maybe, i don get calls at all!!

anyways, nice readin ur experience

Akansha Agrawal September 5, 2009 at 9:14 PM  

Bitching and gossiping mein always a 'she' :O x-( x-( [-( Shameless!!! *clicks her tongue in exasperation, folds her arms and glares angrily(incase you din get the smileys)*

I've been to small places myself... it's always a good experience I suppose!

Oh Reliance does the same, but see I am cleverer, they always use a few patented numbers, I saved all as 'Don't Pick'... *stuffing chest out in pride and patting myself on the back* hehe...

Show me this dance form of yours... :))

sunny_raju September 5, 2009 at 9:30 PM  

Gud one
its nice u put images from Google to depict ur post, Pictures speak for themselves.. but this picture was in poor taste.. Tell me honestly was it how the place u went looked like. the picture talks a lot of poverty. and u talk abt plate full of.... :)

VISHNU September 6, 2009 at 12:34 AM  

its always a tuf thing to get adjusted.. especially from a place which has everythin to a place which has nothing..

lachu September 6, 2009 at 7:09 AM  

u got tis talent of makin mountain outa molehill(i duno if i got d expression rite) keep it up man
alwayzzz entertaining mountains :P

Priya Joyce September 6, 2009 at 7:24 AM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Priya Joyce September 6, 2009 at 7:24 AM  

haha...the cute voice :P
heyy u missed a chance to ask her out :P

Liked the definition of he attached toilet haha
A toilet wer u get attached wen u enter hahah lolzzzz

oh Gossip lolzz..well it's interesting to hear ppl gossiping sometimes ;)

Arjun September 6, 2009 at 10:53 AM  

@Chandana

haha.. true.. :)

Thanks..!!

@Akansha

haha.. yeah.. most times it's a 'she' ... wat to do.. :)

hehe.. n yeah.. i too a have a few numbers named as- 'useless' which i dont pick... Airtel ppl are a step ahead.. ;)

Thanks..!!
Arjun

Arjun September 6, 2009 at 10:59 AM  

@Sunny

Yes, it was a plate full.... But it's still full of poverty.... Poverty is relative... It doesn't come in the way of culture in a way of treating guests..!! They are in a poverty level whr they can afford basic food.. but things like 'Education' and other so called 'comforts' is wat's difficult... Never for a meal, especially for a guest..!!

And the houses there look very similar to the pic .... I wrote this post as a matter of fun (as in, my experiences), but not to insult anyone or their style of living..!!

Thanks..!!
Arjun

Arjun September 6, 2009 at 11:01 AM  

@Vishnu

haha.. yeah... :D

But, the simplicity there is amazing... We cant get it in a place where there is everything.. Every place has it's own good and bad..... Wat is good and bad is again relative.. :)
Thanks bro...

@lachu

haha... this is not a story da..... my own experiences.. :P

Thanks..!!
Arjun

Arjun September 6, 2009 at 11:03 AM  

@PJ

hahaha... It was 2 days fully power-packed with full of gossips.... Ppl there r like, they feel, since we r frm a city are better judges...... So, we get a full A to Z report.. hehe :P

Thanks..!!
Arjun

Thoorika September 6, 2009 at 7:23 PM  

Cool post! :D Now let me clear my doubt! Did you ask that cute voice or not?! :P :D

sunny_raju September 6, 2009 at 8:13 PM  

@arjun i dint mean u were insulting some one, i know abt few places around madanapalli. and it is well developed, schooling, education, mid day meal, self employment, rajiv gandhi rural employment where people get jobs for 180 days with good salaries, 2Kg/ rice.. and many more schemes for poor. untill unless they are not aware of such things there will be poverty. If they dont know about this plz spread the message.
Initially when blogs were started 10 years back. these were the actual purpose of it. hope it still serves the purpose. Wish our future journalist Arjun works on it

pranksygang September 6, 2009 at 9:50 PM  

ha ha :) Gossip is not in that village only.. it everywhere!
i think that Airtel girl wants you to check her out:)

Aanya September 6, 2009 at 10:46 PM  

i love my native place too..its so calm n peaceful...ur post reminded me of my native.
tomato town soundss interesting yaar..

Nice pic :p

parzi September 6, 2009 at 10:51 PM  

hey Arjun...
once again..i have to say u have this peculiar way of saying things that each word evokes an image!
someone has had quite an interesting trip..right from the food,to the gossip..and off course how can i forget the caring girl...hmm interesting...try calling her back na..we will have some more nice experiences coming from u.. all the best things in life are not free ya...a sweet voice charges a lot on roaming..heheheh...
thanks for sharing this one...very nice to read..and by any chance if u r calling "the sweet voice"then the next post should have all its details...good luck!
keep smiling!
take care!

The Rat... September 7, 2009 at 9:18 AM  

ha ha haha.. i loved ur question mark and S dance...

and, hell u shud have said u r single, after all they charged for that call rite???

Arjun September 7, 2009 at 9:36 AM  

@Sunil

Sunil.. All those are on papers... Not only in Andhra.. They r everywhere... How much do u think actually materialises ?? U know how many things matter to get a facility offered by the govt. ...?? It's not as simple as we think.... Our country would have been way better if all these schemes u mentioned would transform to actual reality....

Just an example... My relative, like my grand father.. doesn't get his Old age pension, a scheme which was introduced by YSR.. Reason- His caste... He's a TDP voter... He's been trying since 3 years but in vain....

Next.. To avail most of those facilities.. u should have a ration card, which is given based on a family's annual income.... You know, how difficult a thing it is to him to get one such ration card..?

Schemes are there.. Some are helpful.. most of them dont reach the concerned..... Ground reality is different from schemes on paper....

Of course i agree that the pic might be a bit exaggerated.. And yeah, i also agree that the town has improved... But the economic balance in the town is dangerously bad... Ppl have money not from what they've earned... They have it by selling their lands.... Lucky ppl get good prices.. Ppl with lands which are far away and drought-hit are still suffering.....

Abt blogs, yeah u r right.... But now, the electronic media is doing the job ... Ppl r well aware of wat schemes they are eligible for.... Just that they are helpless in certain issues.....

As for this generation, poverty is still a big issue there.. The next generation, the educated lot, might make things better...

Ground realities are different from what u read Sunil.....

Thanks..!!
Arjun

Arjun September 7, 2009 at 9:42 AM  

@Thoorika

Thanks ... And no.. It wasn't put in double quotes.. So.. i dint actually say it.. hehe :P

@Inty

haha... lets see...

Gossip.. hehe.. yeah.. :P

Thanks..!!
Arjun

Arjun September 7, 2009 at 9:46 AM  

@Aanya

wow gr8.. The thing that strikes me in such places are the simplicity in their style of living...

hehe.. why do u say- nice pic?? :P

@Parul

hahahaha.. Thanks :P but no.. Am not calling her.. :P

No love stories in my blog.. hehe.. ;)

Thanks so much, as evr Parul... U r very sweet.. :)

Thanks..!!
Arjun

Arjun September 7, 2009 at 9:46 AM  

@The Rat

hehe.. am not that brave enuf i guess.. :P

Thanks..!!
Arjun

sunny_raju September 7, 2009 at 10:15 AM  

@ Arjun: I am not to argue, but the schemes what i mentioned is very much available. there are many eseva centres where u get ur ration cards. if u think there is injustice for ur grandfather there is a powerful tool called RTI and the fees for it is Rs 10, heads have rolled when used it. Hope well informed guys like u should spend a day or two and help solve these issues.
arey bhai picture nahin dektha hain kya... Do a yuva dude.
Well lets go madanapalli :)

Arjun September 7, 2009 at 10:41 AM  

Neither me.. :)

Well.. what can i tell u?? I'll be repeating the same again...

Let go to Madanapalle.. come on.. ;)

Ur rs.10 RTI is as simple as it sounds?? Things will get personal there....

AS i told u.. Things are far more complicated.....

Ppl know abt all that u've said.. yet they r helpless...

Rules and schemes have been there forever..

Doing a yuva is the only option.. but unfortunately... Reality is not a movie... Things get personal and dirty... AM not shying away.. AM just telling u wat i hear.. :)

Lets leave it at this..

Thanks..!!
Arjun

sunny_raju September 7, 2009 at 10:50 AM  

Ur talking abt personal, dirty.
I guess tht will be routine, for a journalist. If i am right, u are a aspirant

Arjun September 7, 2009 at 12:28 PM  

U r not getting the point when i say personal and dirty..!!

Anyway... U r deviating the discussion onto me, personally.... So i'll better stop and not react..!! :)

Thanks..!!
Arjun

Dhanya September 7, 2009 at 2:07 PM  

Lolz! I loved the 'question-mark' dance especially. Had me chuckling out loud :D

Cute Airtel girl huh? Did you ask for HER numbe? :)

R S V September 7, 2009 at 8:26 PM  

Honestly speaking the incidents were not very special but your dexterity with words made them so....

and you have an excellent template too.....
great going!!

Harshita September 8, 2009 at 10:22 AM  

Hehehe...

that was a good one...

I love visiting my hometown too... but itz been a long time... the gossip... the S dance and everything is fun..

BTW, you call it 'S' dance...LOL :D

Arjun September 8, 2009 at 11:35 AM  

@Dhanya

hehe.. nope :P

Thanks for dropping by .. :)

@R S V

Thank u bro .... Nothing is extraordinary in my life.. :P

@Harshita

hehehe.. yeah.. S dance.. :P

Thanks..!!
Arjun

Swetha Padakandla September 8, 2009 at 12:09 PM  

ROFL!
hometown, native, relatives, gossips!
gosh.. i'm lost in memories now..

gud write up!!
so u and that airtel lady met? u didnt continue on that, lols.. :P

cheers

Arjun September 8, 2009 at 12:26 PM  

@Swetha

ashtondu scene illa.. :P hehe .. dint meet or anything.. :P

Thanks..!!
Arjun

BardSpeaks September 8, 2009 at 2:06 PM  

I relived my Andhra days! Anantapur, Guntakal, M'palli...they are all the same!

"Attached bathrooms" as explained was hilarious!

It was fun reading this post!

Arjun September 10, 2009 at 12:56 PM  

@Bard

Oh.. U frm Andhra ?? Thats nice.. :)

haha.. yeah.. "Attached"

THanks..!!
Arjun

kasabiangirl September 12, 2009 at 3:41 PM  

Very interesting sir :)

I hope you enjoyed your customer care calls :P

An award awaits you on my blog :D

Priyanka September 12, 2009 at 5:41 PM  

hehe...nice nice fan!! :D
oops...u r single! :P ...funny tha :D
loved readin it fan....

now u can thank me for the comment. :P

pranksygang September 13, 2009 at 4:11 PM  

hi Arjun!! pls have a look in my blog!! i have something for you!

http://pranksygang.blogspot.com/2009/09/tags-honest-things-about-me.html

lachu September 14, 2009 at 9:12 PM  

own story??poor u.......

sunny_raju September 16, 2009 at 6:17 PM  

hey, u changed the pic, nice to see that. i just noticed it today. Thanx arjun

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